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Welcome to my blog... the home of complete ordered chaos.
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It's been a while
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It's been a while since I have posted to my blog so today seemed like a good time to do it. My life the last few weeks have been eye opening. God has revealed a lot of things for me this weekend and I am excited about fulfilling his will for my life. However, I know I need his guidance in all that has been shown to me because I know I can't do it all, but I know I have a heart for these things. One thing in particular for me is workplace ministry. God has put it on my heart to share Christ with my co-workers, but I don't know the best way how. I want them to know who Christ is to me and how it can be to them. I really hope to have friends at work who are followers of Christ, and I know that only God can grant that for me.
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The Wise MAN, the foolish me
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I was reading my favorite book in the Bible today, 1 Corinthians and I was thinking about my journey with Christ so far... I have gone through a lot in the last 8 or so years and I have seen God change me in radical ways. I think and do so many things because of Him than I did 8 years ago it's not funny. I have been really humbled by my faith, that the Lord has given me, and I truly hope that as time goes on that I can remain and continue to deepen my relationship in Christ. I think about how foolish I was in life without Him and now that I have Him and he is guiding me I do not want to let go of that. I read this passage now and I am just renewed in my fight to march on because the wise man, is leading my life now.
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'" --1 Corinthians 1:26-31
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FreeDerekWebb.com
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Okay so it's been a while since I last posted... who cares? I don't know if you do. Anywho much to talk about anyway. So I say today on an email I receieved, I saw at the bottom FreeDerekWebb.com and I said to myself (knowing that Derek Webb is a Christian music artist) "Is Derek Webb in jail? How could that happen?" Well he isn't, he is just giving away his new CD, Mockingbird, away for free. That's right free, and this is no slouch CD. It's 11 tracks on iTunes and it's normally $10. 4 stars, 31 reviews all positive so yeah... I am happy about that. Next post, my dream came true a week and a half ago and I am just now going to post about it.
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Day 1 of ONE
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Day 1 or ONE has been great so far... we arrived at Willow Creek Community Church an hour before we scheduled to arrive. I am now sitting in the HUGE food court waiting for the first session of the ONE conference :) God is good all the time, All the time God is good.
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Reflections
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The new year has gotten me to reflect a lot more. I guess this being in the mist of biggest transistion of my life so far (being a student to being an IT professional) has started to wear on me a little bit more. I realize the value of seeking God in everything I do. I value the time I have with dear friends and family. I so desperately want to feel like God is using me in every way that he wills for my life. I am seeking this everyday, and with that comes my desire to be more open about how I feel towards people that I am in influence with. Be it good or bad, my feelings should be shared because this will better God's message. God will shine through what I say and he will have an effect on them because I had faith enough in Him to know that my feelings are true and I didn't hide them from anyone. Life is much too short in comparison to eternity. If the small things (like hatred, distrust, an unforgiving heart) in this life get in the way of eternity, then the world is lost. I cannot allow myself to let the small things get in the way of the kingdom of God. I can't get caught up in the drama of worldly desires, because God has everything I need to make it. The Word is clear
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. -- Matt 7:7-8
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Romans 4
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Well... I came to an interesting point in my life. Realizations that my life is more complicated than I thought. I have always thought God has put me on a track that always makes sense. But recently, being totally honest with myself, I realized that I am confused. Wrapped up into many things that I don't understand. Unable to do what I really desire and doing what others expect me to do because that is what my life has always been about: pleasing others. When I was a kid, that's all I did was do my best to please my parents and look for their approval.
But God wants something else from me (from all of us). Abraham was called to do things that didn't make all that much sense and yet he did them, and in that he was declared righteous. Listening to God is the only important thing in life. "18 Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him..." God has promised me things and I don't understand how that will be. I also don't see how these promises will come true for me. God is calling me to have faith, faith like Abram (meaning father of many), then given a new name: Abraham (meaning father of a great multitude) yet at that time Abraham didn't have a child and his wife, Sarah, was way to old to bear a child. I want my new name. I want to believe against all hope that God will deliver me. Help me God.
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Camp 2005
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In my attempt to do something other than movie reviews I will tell you about my upcomming week. Dundee Camp 2005. It is the best week of the year for me spiritually. I cannot wait for tomorrow, camp is going to be sooo fun. I once agian am on the Hill this year with 8 other conselors. Our theme this year is City on the Hill (trust me I didn't come up with it)... Anyway, I made the logo agian and here it is:
Also camp this year is extra special because we will have a new Associate Pastor, Bo, who will be starting full time at camp. I pray that God can really unite Bo with Dundee this week and give him clear vision about where he has been called to lead the youth of Dundee.
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Self Reflection
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I have recently had the time to do some self reflection, and I have come to the realization that a lot of what motivates me, is what is hindering me. I am motivated by seeing people I am in contact with, being changed because of something I did or helped them do. This is great and there is nothing wrong with loving my neighbor (Matt 22:36-40), but I am missing out on the other part of Matt 22:39 - "Love your neighbor as yourself". I think there is a lot to take from those two words: as yourself. I have allowed myself to become so secondary that I love my neighbor more than myself. My relationship with God has struggled because of this as of late, and that needs to change. I need to seek God's will in everything I do including helping others. I have to know when to draw the line and have faith that God can fix it. I MUST spend more time connecting with Him because he is the one who gives me life. He is the one who will tell me what I need to do to love my neighbor as myself, because loving God, above all "...is the first and greatest commandment" (Matt 22:38).
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The Best of You
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I recently listened to this new song by the Foo Fighters called Best of You and I have to say it is a reallly inspiring song to me. I have done a little research (on the Internet of course) into what others think about this song and it has spoken to a lot of people, in many different ways. I think this song has a message that applies to my faith that not to many people online have come out and said. Listing to the song it seems like the artist is really showing two sides to his life. Moving on from something that he knows is hurting him or "getting the best of him", and then what he eventually does to "give the best of him"
Here is the opening:
I've got another confession to make I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
In the opening, I am reminded of how many times I have told myself that what I am doing is not right... I feel like I am telling that sin that "I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool Everyone's got their chains to break Holdin' you" Sin takes hold of everyone and gets the best of us. It abuses us and holds us back from really living... It's killing us.
In the next section continues on this trail and reminds me of all the times I have been tripped up in my faith and how it effects me. How I try to turn away from the bad choices, decisions, habits, etc. And given the choice of life or death I can't choose, but God in me has given me the determination to refuse the life the world has presented me with.
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Now this is the part in the song that is my favorite because I feel like here is where he turns it around and turns back to the Father and he is given hope.
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
The difference in the Chorus is important: "Has someone taken your faith? Its real, the pain you feel. The life, the love. You die to heal. The hope that starts. The broken hearts. You trust, you must, Confess..." All life and love that we had is gone when sin takes hold... then hope starts and change happens. There will be broken hearts because of change (especially your own). God becomes that someone that gets the best of you. God deserves the best of you.
The song ends like this:
I've got another confession my friend I'm no fool,
I'm getting tired of starting again, Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in, I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must, Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
The last section continues on that same track... I think he is talking to God telling Him that he isn't a fool. The artist is telling God that he wants to not start over agian with some other sin that will take him away from Him. The differences in this verse from the first one are important as well... He calls God his friend. He confesses that he has astrayed and doesn't want to go in another direction again starting over somewhere new. This part reminds me of how many times I have come to Christ and layed it all down and said I want to live for you... I want to not turn to something else, only what you have in store for my life. I want to give you the best of me.
Is someone getting the best of you, or is sin getting the best of you? That is the question I see posed in this song.
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Holidays, deep thoughts
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The 4th brought me a lot of time to just think. Think about what my true motivation is for my life. I am really blessed to be given the opportunity to take the time to reflect and process my life. With that I have come to the realization that God is the only one that will be able to shape my life. He is the only one that can give me the guidance in my life. I cannot allow others to effect that and I must look to him for everything. Today I got the opportunity to share my heart with 3 of my really close friends. We have had this opportunity every Monday for the last 3 weeks, but this week it really hit me. What hit me is the heart of a man. What a man desires more than anything and why is it such a hard thing to do. But it all comes down to what my good friend Tim said today: "Drink Deeply of the opportunities of life, and become drunk on the passions of your soul" That's all. Just look to all the opportunities in life and use God's guidance to pursue that, because God will give us the desires of our hearts. So my heart is focused on God because only then I can live in happiness.
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